Talking with someone who is dying

Toward the end of my mother's life I spent a lot of time with her, staying overnight with her because she was afraid to be alone. She couldn't talk much but she did ask why it was taking so long. She was not in pain but she was clearly struggling with living every day.

Our conversations became shorter as she declined. She didn't talk very much. I talked about what a good family she had and about how we would carry on as she and the rest of the family did after her mother and father died. I could see a small twinkle in her eye when I said we'd all be stuck in the cold weather while she'd be golfing where the sun was shining.

When she was actively dying we didn't say much of anything. I sat and held her hand when she took her last breath. I had promised her that I would be there when she died if I could and that I would hold her hand. I was glad I was able to keep my promise.

I don't miss the conversations about death, and as much as I would like to forget them, I know I will remember them at times. I hope that if I ever have to go through a similar experience, that the time I spent with my mom will help me know what to say and how to help the one who is dying. And when my time comes I hope I will keep in mind to use humor as much as possible to help my helper through it.

Keeping humor in conversations with someone who is dying

Young or old, who wants to sit around and think about death when there is an opportunity to laugh?

When my children were babies and dependent I tried to make them happy and laugh. It is the same now with my mother. I try to find funny things to talk about with her like comical stories I read in the newspaper, funny things our grandchildren have done or said, humorous comments my husband makes, or something I have seen on Facebook. 

When my mother talks about death I listen. When she talks about wanting to die, the only way I can respond is to say that I understand her feelings, but she is strong and not ready yet.

I know while she is alive, she might as well try to have a good time, as long as she is physically and mentally up for it.  I am thankful that my mother has a sense of humor and is alert and aware, and that she has lived well into her nineties.

She is happy to have a Cozy Sheep Warmer to keep her company and comfy on cold

Cozy Sheep Bed & Body Warmer

winter nights.