Dealing with the discomfort of conversations about death

My grandmother’s wish to die seemed so unnatural to me when I was younger, but as I hear my mother utter, “I wish I could die,” I have more understanding.  She is dependent due to lack of mobility, inability to see or hear well, with little hope of improving.

Sometimes I try to make light of her “wishing to die” and respond by saying, “You’re too damn strong to die, Mom!” I try to shift the conversation to what is important to her after she dies and taking time to let her know the things I appreciate about her as a mother and that I will miss her.  

Her desire to die has a way of creeping into many discussions. Dwelling on the topic of dying doesn’t seem like a good idea. There are times when it is appropriate to remind her that I will do all in my power to make sure she is comfortable and does not feel any pain. Some repetition becomes security for her. Then shifting the discussion to remembering people who have died is more satisfying for both of us.

Discussions of my mother's expectation of death are more frequent, and as much as I try to make light of them, they do cause stress and anxiety. They make me wonder how I will handle my journey to the other side. I hope it will be with humor as much as possible. 

Panda Bear Microwave Body Warmer

The soothing warmth of a Maine Warmer helps me relax when I return home from the daily visits with my mom. 

Use relaxation to help reduce food cravings

Sometimes I crave sweets when relaxation is what I really need. A cup of tea with a couple of cookies and a few minutes time out to enjoy it is how I tend to chill out. The time out is what I need -- not the tasty treat.

There are times when I crave something sweet so much I will stop at the store or make a special trip to buy dessert. Once I have it in my pocket, purse, or grocery bag the craving magically goes away. I haven't eaten it, but have lost the craving.

There are times during the day when it is hard to relax, either because the schedule is so tight or I’m already in a high speed wobble and cannot seem to slow down. It helps to slow down when those cravings bite. Sometimes I will ask my husband to offer a gentle reminder after supper to take a deep breath and relax. Other times a self reminder is all that's needed.

The Mayo Clinic has several suggestions for relaxation techniques that might help chase away some of those food cravings. I was a bit surprised that they don't mention a little time out on the couch with a heating pad. I have used heat to relax tense muscles and help ease away anxiety and cravings. A microwave heating pad from Maine Warmers is versatile and can be used for a variety of ailments. Check out the Cozy Sheep Warmers.  They are portable, easy to use, safe, and have no added fragrances.