Dealing with the discomfort of conversations about death

My grandmother’s wish to die seemed so unnatural to me when I was younger, but as I hear my mother utter, “I wish I could die,” I have more understanding.  She is dependent due to lack of mobility, inability to see or hear well, with little hope of improving.

Sometimes I try to make light of her “wishing to die” and respond by saying, “You’re too damn strong to die, Mom!” I try to shift the conversation to what is important to her after she dies and taking time to let her know the things I appreciate about her as a mother and that I will miss her.  

Her desire to die has a way of creeping into many discussions. Dwelling on the topic of dying doesn’t seem like a good idea. There are times when it is appropriate to remind her that I will do all in my power to make sure she is comfortable and does not feel any pain. Some repetition becomes security for her. Then shifting the discussion to remembering people who have died is more satisfying for both of us.

Discussions of my mother's expectation of death are more frequent, and as much as I try to make light of them, they do cause stress and anxiety. They make me wonder how I will handle my journey to the other side. I hope it will be with humor as much as possible. 

Panda Bear Microwave Body Warmer

The soothing warmth of a Maine Warmer helps me relax when I return home from the daily visits with my mom.